Dreams
by duchess-susan
Summary: Agnes keeps seeing Vlad in her dreams. Exactly how dangerous is a vampire with a plan?
1. Chapter 1

**Yes, another Vlad and Agnes fic. I couldn't resist it. Read and review please. Oh, almost forgot I own nothing but the dreamscapes.**

**Because in dreams we are all mad...**

In Dreams

Imagine the Discworld. Imagine two particular places on it: Lancre and Uberwald. Imagine two dwellings : a castle and a cottage. Imagine two people in these places: a witch and a vampire. Imagine _three _minds casting out into the night, unbidden and instinctively, the subconscious free and wild, making obscene gestures at consciousness and screaming defiance at common sense. The subconscious _likes _dreams. Dreams are easier to control, dreams are when the rest of the mind takes a tea break and the subconscious mutinies, stealing the controls and heading for horizons comprised of unacknowledged desires.

***

She was standing on nothing, as far as she could tell. She was just floating above a cloud-like substance that shimmered and _moved, _like the sea, flowing first one way, then the other. It looked so unreal, so insubstantial that it couldn't possibly take her weight, or anyone else's for that matter. This didn't seem to bother it, so she tried not to think of it, in case the landscape took note of her thoughts and realised that it was behaving extremely inappropriately. Which was when she realised it was not a landscape, but a _dreamscape._

It was beautiful, she had to admit. It was as though someone had reduced very fine, very expensive jewels to gas and then let the vapour form in a huge glass jar, for the sheer luxury of being able to do so. It was frivolous, impractical and heart-rendingly beautiful, a shifting ocean of shining fog. And it had another occupant.

Agnes' breath caught, because she _knew _this person. No one else mixed such an intoxicating cocktail of feelings within her. She feared him, mocked him and was mocked by him, envied him, was repulsed by him and entranced by him.

'Vlad...' Half question and half statement it hung in the ether.

'Didn't I say we'd meet again?' He was smiling the kind of devilish smile that can only be achieved with fangs. 'I keep my promises Agnes.'

I wish you didn't. _I'm glad he does. _How the hells did you end up in MY dream? _Our dream. Don't see why you should get all the fun. Now say something or I will. And do try not to sound too stupid, for my sake._

'This isn't real.' _And you're in control because..._

'What is?' He sighed. 'No, not conventionally real, I suppose, but real in a way. Real for now.'

Agnes tried to sigh with relief but Perdita thwarted her. _Don't you dare ruin this for me or I'll start talking to Oats on your behalf. Do you really want that? _NO! _Well then be civil, and if possible attractive, though I know that's asking a lot._

'Where is this place then?' _Okay I'll let you get away with that because it's an interesting question._

He shrugged, in the rakish way only a vampire can. 'I'm afraid this place is yours, not mine.' He cast a hand through the cloud. 'Quite pretty, really. Vague though.' Another smile. 'Perhaps if you concentrated a little more things could be even better next time.'

'There's not going to be a next time.' _YES THERE IS._

'Of course there's going to be a next time. And there's some very good reasons why, but should I tell you the most important one?'

'If you want.' _Oh, cold but probably just the right amount of indifference to maintain his interest-you actually did something right. Perhaps we should commemerate this event somehow. A small medal or something. _Shut up.

He leant forwards until his face was inches from hers. 'Because I promise you we _will _meet again, Agnes Nitt.'

That was when the dreamscape broke into glittering shards and Agnes woke up.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Many thanks go to iamsusan whose wonderful 'Falling in more ways than one' provided the inspiration for this chapter. If you haven't read it I strongly recommend it.**

Bright light filtered into the cottage. Which was good. Vampires didn't like sunlight. Agnes wondered why she'd thought that, which was when the memory of the dream came bouncing back.

I didn't. _We did. _No, I can't have dreamt of him because I don't think of him. Because I don't want to. Perdita would have rolled her eyes if she could. _Yes you do. I should know, it's the only time I agree with you. _But we have Oats. _No we don't. He swanned off to Uberwald. Without us. And you LET Vlad go. Why didn't we just stay at Don'tgonearthe Castle? _Because we would have had to be a vampire and then we'd have had to live with Lacrimosa. _Oh, I could have sorted her out. All I'd need would be some make-up remover, a few poppy seeds and an eyeliner pencil that incorporated garlic as a smudge preventative. _Tempting idea, but no. We did the right thing in coming back to Lancre. _Since when has the right thing been what's best for us? You're only looking for the moral high ground because you know you've made the wrong decision._ Shut up. _That means I'm right. _Don't be so childish. _I think you mean incisive._

_***_

Vlad was happy enough to ignore his uncle and sister dueting, on the organ and torture chamber, respectively. Lacrimosa had finally sorted out (actually Igor had done all the work) the linkages from the organ's stops to the cellars. Vlad wasn't sure which part of an orchestra a torture chamber belonged in, but his bet would have been on the brass section. Mainly because a surprising amount of the implements of pain were made of the metal.

He had_ found _her. He was sure his father would have been proud of the logical thought process he had used to devise a way to claim Agnes Nitt. After all, he was a vampire. Which was why she didn't want him, but _really _she didn't want to refuse him that day when she had disappeared from his life. _Life._ Life had got in the way, he was sure that was the issue. She clearly valued hers too much. Or possibly not enough. But if he could just take her into a situation, where real life was no longer applicable things could be different. He had got stuck at this point, until he had gone off into a daydream (technically it was a nightdream, but it doesn't have the same ring to it) about her gloriously tricky mind. Vampires can control minds, normally. And if he could find a point at which her mind was vulnerable...like when she was sleeping...

That had been it. Epiphany. If he concentrated he could find her mind, unguarded and susceptible, in the night and twist her dreams around him. He could persuade her to come to him. It would all end _properly. _And he could stop all this lovesickness, which was leading to funny looks from his fellow vampires and making him miserable. Only the other day his uncle asked him if he'd been at the 'vine' because he looked had just glared sullenly and retreated to his rooms, like every misunderstood teenager since the dawn of time. He couldn't look that bad, surely? He had almost got Igor to fetch a mirror, until he realised that he didn't even have a reflection. Which had bought on another sulk. _Would she love me if I had a reflection? Even that pathetic priest must have one. Unfortunately._

But today, today things were different. Better. Hope had been restored. He had been so delighted to see her that he had almost forgot to be aloof and mysterious. And she had looked so puzzled. She had even tried to _argue. _He adored her when she argued. No one else even tried to argue with him, except for the Count and Lacci, but they didn't count. When they got angry or embarrassed their face didn't flush a very fetching pink. Vlad smiled at the memory, then sighed as he realised, for the millionth time what had happened. He had fallen in _love. _It seemed such a soppy sentiment. Completely unvampirish. His uncle would probably have an embolism. After all, Vlad was fairly certain Agnes didn't wear lacy underwired nightgowns. That could be changed though...

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	3. Chapter 3

One night and one more time...

It was different. No more fog, not this time. It was a marble hall, full of gracefully twirling couples with masked faces and elegant clothes. Agnes felt extremely out of place, until Perdita reminded her that this was _her _dream and she was the last person who'd be out of place. She could feel the patterns around her, patterns formed of spinning bodies. Magnificent chandeliers terrorized the ceiling with the sheer weight of crystal they encompassed. Agnes had always found masked figures sinister, but Perdita _liked _them, she thought they were mysterious and romantic. Agnes thought that hiding your face didn't make you mysterious, just suspicious.

_Then why are you wearing a mask? _

Agnes ripped it off her face as soon as Perdita mentioned it. It was, she supposed, a phoenix, but an exceptionally stylised one, all flames and little beak. Someone laughed as she cast it onto the floor. She sighed.

'Is this going to be a common recurrence then?' She tried to sound angry, because angry was quite definitely the only right reaction she could have to this.

'That's up to you.' With a graceful movement he plucked his magpie mask off. 'Masks are such stupid things aren't they? As though either of us should hide what we are.' He smiled. 'It's so good to see you again. How was your day?'

Of course it has to be a magpie, because that's poetic_. _I don't want poetic. _I do. _I just want to stop dreaming. _No you don't. _Please shut up before I resolve to seek therapy. _Yeah, just see what a therapist makes of ME. I'd have them begging for mercy in seconds. Besides we don't have the money for a therapist. Witching doesn't pay in currency, as such, now does it? _Hang on, I think we've missed something here-did he just ask us how our day was?! What kind of question is that to ask after breaking and entering into my-_our-_dream?

'Well Miss Nitt? You told me once you didn't dance, but now it appears that you must either do so or answer my question.'

_For the love of all that's infernal don't you dare tell him how you spent the day looking after stupid country folk. DANCE. _I can't-_Then let me try. _Oh no. No no no. You are not taking control. _Why not? You're not exactly coping brilliantly with all this, are you? _I'm managing. _Oh YEAH, that's why we've spent the last few minutes arguing with each other is it? _We argue all the time whatever happens. Agnes felt Perdita shrug mentally, which was a very odd sensation, like a sort of mind stretch.

'I don't think I will, actually.' Agnes backed away slowly, although her brain had got stuck on one frantic thought. I want to wake up, I want to wake up, I want to wake up, I WANT TO WAKE UP. _Are you mad? _I think you're conclusive proof. _At least I'm thin. _How can you possibly know that? You don't even have a body. You have to share mine. _It's not what I would call sharing, you take up all the room and you never let me have any fun. _Oh I'm SO sorry. _That's not okay. This is like the worst flat share in the world, on a psychic level obviously. _Perdita tried to take control, but Agnes was used to it. The only effect was to make the dreamscape shudder, tremble and flicker out.

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	4. Chapter 4

**All I have to say is the usual plea to review. And also more thanks to iamsusan for her inspiring fics. **

Perdita raged. _Why didn't you let me have control, just for once? Would it have hurt? It was just a dream. _We both know that was something slightly more. _Even better. _

***

'Vlad?'

'Yes Uncle?' _If I had a brother called Wlad how would he summon us independently? Mind you Wlad is a bloody stupid name._

'Vhy are you looking so pleased vith yourself? Lacrimosa hasn't "accidentally" tried to torture Igor again, has she?' The Count grimaced at the memory. Igor was used to mistreatment, and had avoided _any _harm whatsoever, which was quite an achievement, but had also immediately made complaints about the state of the cellar. Apparently some antique cobwebs had been damaged. He'd been very upset. That was the thing about Igors. They didn't mind you trying to kill them, but they could be funny about other things.

'Can't I just be cheerful?'

'No. Vampires must only be cheerful vhen the room they are occupying needs redecorating,' the Count said seriously.

Vlad considered the craggy stone architecture, heavy velvet curtains and dark corners of the room (complete with cobwebs). 'It does.'

The Count frowned. 'You know vhat I mean. Because of the bloodlust they have given into. People make such a mess. This castle is perfect. Vonderfully gothic, even if I say so myself.'

'Gothic is the word.'

'Vhat have I told you about,' the Count concentrated as he said the _forbidden _letter, 'w?' He shuddered. 'Don't make me say it again. I know your father raised you differently but you could at least _try._ Are you doing those elocution lessons Igor devised for you?'

Vlad sighed. He was _good _at being a sulky teenager, after all these years. 'Yes Uncle. Vhich vay to the vonderfully vicked castle? Vordplay is a vorthwhile hobby for vampires vith an interest in vitnessing another moonrise.' _I'm never saying that again. I am perfectly capable of speaking without resorting to a twenty-five letter alphabet._

The Count nodded his approval. 'Ve vill make a fine vampire of you yet. You are young, so I will leave your dress sense be for now.' The Count was aware that the young always wore things that horrified the "old", so he graciously tried not to protest too much. Besides, after the first few days of arguing about evening dress he had seen that it was one fight he wouldn't win. Or even vin. 'But vhat about the young vimmin? A vampire is expected to behave in a certain vay towards them, and you are failing.'

'All the village girls are boring.'

The Count raised an eyebrow. He had no idea how to deal with the implications of that, but said carefully 'So there are others, perhaps, in the village vhom you might consider?'

Vlad stared. 'No. No one in Uberwald will do.'

'Ah.' The Count smothered a sigh of relief. He brightened as he figured out what Vlad was implying. 'So there is a particular girl you have in mind? Vhy didn't you say? An epic romance is very dramatic.' He beamed with pride. How theatrical! And vampires were all about theatre. There was hope for his nephew yet.

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	5. Chapter 5

**More dreamscapes, more clichés. Read and review, because if you've got this far surely you must have some opinions on it?**

Agnes could only assume Perdita was responsible for this dreamscape. It was a huge cavern, with walls that were as hard as rock and yet comprised of crystalline roses. Each rose was deep red and somehow the walls they formed were curved, smooth and completely flat. Common sense insisted that some of the petals should protrude from the surface, until logic pointed out that common sense had no bearing on, or business in, a dream, and also that it should stop objecting before Perdita murdered it. It was beautiful and that was all that mattered. Small, shiny petals floated down from a ceiling Agnes couldn't see. One landed on her cheek. When she tried to brush it away she discovered the petals were also _sharp_. A very thin trickle of blood appeared.

'Didn't I tell you could do better than all that fog?' Vlad smiled louchely.

'You can't carry on like this forever.'

'Why not?'

'I'm mortal.' An argument lacking forethought, but at least she knew it to be true.

'That can be remedied. Please don't tempt me; no one has ever been bitten in their dreams before. Anything could happen if I should decide to convert you.'

'I'd wake up before you could.'

'Do you really want to chance it? Besides they say death is an eternal sleep, Agnes. So then you'd be mine forever. Either way. Isn't that just beautifully ironic?'

'Irony isn't beautiful. It's just annoying.'

Agnes began to realise that she was trapped. For all she knew he could be right. _Oh please let that be the case, for my sake. _You really are no help at all. _Why should I help you? We are working at cross-purposes. _Because you'll die with me. _He wouldn't kill us. _I was referring to suicide rather than homicide. _You'd be to scared. _Honestly, if I keep having dreams like this, it will become a viable option. _Go on then. At least you'd be interesting then. Who knows-you might only partially succeed, and then I can have this body all to myself. And Vlad as well. _

'Oh very well. After a few centuries you'll see the attractive side, I assure you.'

'I don't intend to live that long.'

'Well _I _intend for you to live for a _very _long time. Indefinitely, in fact. So perhaps you should re-evaluate your plans now.'

'Glad to see you haven't lost your arrogance.'

He gazed at her thoughtfully. 'Would you really like me to temper it with modesty? Too many people are modest. And, despite what you say, it's not half as compelling as self-confidence, which you seem inclined to confuse with arrogance.' He was suddenly far too close to her. 'We all lust after power, dear Agnes, but it takes _so _many forms. And the most beguiling forms are those we do not possess.'

With that the dream drifted apart and the morning light regained control.


	6. Chapter 6

Agnes wasn't feeling right. Not after that mini-monologue about power. She had the nagging feeling that Vlad was right about it, which was the main source of her uneasiness. That and Perdita's constant comments on how clever he was, how much he must miss them to be going to all this trouble and how much better he looked than Oats.

The other consideration was that these dreams made life in Lancre look, well, dull. Life in Lancre was not dangerous or exciting or even unusual, if you stayed away from Nanny Ogg's still. It was just boring days following boring days, looking after people who rarely thanked you for it.

_Ah-coming to your senses at last, I see. _No. We just need a plan that's all. _Yes and that plan is to go to a certain castle in Uberwald, allow ourselves to be seduced and then..._Agnes blocked out the rest of that thought. No what we need to do is stop dreaming and just get on with our waking life. _I refuse. _I don't care. The next time we see him we'll just...fight back.

***

Lacrimosa was having a fantastic time. Despite what she had thought before, being an old-fashioned vampire had its compensations, and they were ample ones. No one ever told her to stop being wantonly cruel, for example, and she was _encouraged _to keep an extensive torture chamber, that catalogued centuries of the very best ways to inflict pain. No more lacy skirts, either, which was just as well, as they tended to stain so easily. She had even caught herself enjoying having a servant that limped and lisped gratuitously. But it was an _art form _being dedicated enough to spend _days _instilling a creak into the hinges of a door. And only a _genius _could persuade spiders to create such fabulously atmospheric cobwebs.

Her father would be ashamed of her now. But then he wasn't here. Old-fashioned vampires lived longer. Trying to be something new, something _else, _was not a survival trait. She could see that now. But only a year ago she would have despised what she was now. Lacrimosa was confused. Being a vampyre had held possibilites for the future, but being a vampire meant holding yourself back and actually _having _a future. She tried to stop thinking, before she had an identity crisis. Unfortunately just as she stopped thinking Vlad walked into the Great Hall, where she had been sat thinking. Torture chambers are not good places to reflect. The screams get in the way.

'Ah. Brother. I haven't seen you in days.'

'I suppose not.'

'You're _still _wearing waistcoats?'

'I like them. You've gone native.'

Lacrimosa's eyes glittered dangerously. 'I just don't spend my whole life _pining _after some ridiculous witch. She _hated _you, so just get over it and start behaving more like a vampire and less like a lovesick poet, all ponytail, "deep thoughts" and angst.'

Vlad had forgotten how vicious Lacrimosa tended to be. 'What would you know about _anything? _You're worse than our uncle. Just letting eternity slip away as one great game between hunter and prey, with no aspirations or ambitions for the future.'

'Remember father. He had ambitions and he ended up being killed by a priest damper than the floor of my torture chamber. Vhich I should probably be returning to.' She smiled the smile of someone who knows how to take you to pieces mentally _and _physically, and still leave you alive enough to know what's happened.

Vlad knew she had only said "vhich" to annoy him.

'Igor.'

'Yeth mathter.'

'Do you have any hopes for your future?'

'Yeth. A better creak on thothe thtairth in the north tower. And a race of thpiderth able to weave unduthtable webth.'

Vlad wondered why he had even bothered asking.


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter really hasn't turned out the way I would have liked, but it seems to be the best I can do. Sorry. Suppose I should add that I am considering the discontinuation of this fic-anyone who wants me to carry on just has to say, and I'll give it another few chapters, but...**

Agnes refused to play along this time. The dreamscape was just a great blue nothingness, just a surface on which to stand. And he _was _standing on it.

'Oh Agnes, you were really getting quite good at this. Has something happened?'

'Yes. I'm being stalked by a vampire in my _dreams.'_

'I'm not really stalking you. You want me to be here.'

Perdita managed to get a whole sentence across, 'because you're sweeter than heavens and hotter than hells.' Agnes wondered if she could make herself die in her sleep, as the blush consumed her.

Vlad just raised an eyebrow. 'Do you see now? You're mine, Agnes Nitt. You have been ever since we met.' He smiled. 'And the only problem with that is that you won't accept it. Have you ever _not _fought yourself?'

'That wasn't fair.' It's my dream. I can control it. I can..._do nothing._

Vlad shrugged. 'Nothing is. It wasn't fair when you left _me _in Uberwald. And then that priest left _you. _Isn't love cruel? But now we can have our chance again. Some decisions aren't forever.'

'This one would be.'

'That's not a bad thing. Why so hostile? Do you want this to end?'

'Yes!'

'And then your life will return to normal and be terminally boring, and eventually you will die, alone. Because that's what happens to witches. Look at Mistress Weatherwax. You've never been to Genua. I'm told it's beautiful by night.'

Agnes bit her lip. She was really trying to fight back, the trouble was, that with herself and Perdita to quell there was no fight left for Vlad. Remember when you threw holy water at him, remember when you tried to decapitate him. Remember telling him you wouldn't save him from the mob...actually don't remember that.

A stake appeared in her hand. So she did have a measure of control over this...

Vlad just laughed. 'If you want to kill me you'll have to come back to Don'tgonearthe Castle. Or invite me back to your cottage. Either would suit me.'

Agnes was getting angry. She had made a choice. She hadn't liked it, but it had been made and she didn't want to have it presented to her again, because she doubted she could keep making the right decision. "Temptation was ever the fall of man"-hadn't some god or another said that. _Well they were fine one's to talk, weren't they?_

'Go to hells.' She tried to stab Vlad with the length of pointed wood just as he said 'you've already sent me there.' And disappeared.

Agnes was left alone in her dreams with Perdita.


	8. Chapter 8

**I was completely mad when I wrote this. Just a warning-this chapter is shaming. As well as the end of this particular fic, which I have begun to despair of.**

Things were becoming...interesting. Vlad was getting impatient though. It was time to stop being a thing of dreams and time to be a vampire of reality...It was time to go to Lancre.

He couldn't repress a grin as he remembered her anger. Anger was good. It meant he was saying the _right _things, things that she knew to be truth and tried to repress, things he wanted her to stop repressing immediately. Anger also meant she would attempt nosferacide*. He enjoyed her spirited tries at killing him. They were so passionate, so full of hope and fury and desperation.

He sauntered out of the castle. By tonight he would be in Lancre.

*Vampire slaying. Somehow Agnes the Nosferacide doesn't have that ring to it.

***

Agnes was upset. Because she hadn't killed Vlad. Because she had tried to kill Vlad. Because Vlad kept haunting her in her waking thoughts as well as her dreams. Because Perdita was giving her hell. Because she was sitting alone in her cottage, in the dark, trying desperately to stay awake and had no idea how she was going to evade him forever, especially considering that Perdita was whispering nasty little comments, about how very, very tired Agnes was, and how capable Perdita was in the dreams and how one more couldn't hurt.

Agnes had reached the point of giving in and falling asleep when Vlad appeared, having apparently let himself in.

'Aren't you bored of taunting me yet?'

'Please stop being so defensive and resentful. It doesn't suit you.'

'Why do you even _care? _I'm just some girl whose mind you can't read. I mean that clearly makes me _so _special. Just find some other vampire, they would do just as well, I'm sure and they might even _like _you.'

He was looking at her curiously. 'You needn't be like that. Are you really so afraid of the thought of someone being attracted to you? And you are very self-effacing. As though I'm so _shallow. _There are many more qualities I value highly in you. Did you really think I'd just fall for a beautiful mind?'

That threw her. And Perdita. It wasn't the usual defence men employed when being accused of lusting after only one thing. Besides this was all getting a little out of hand. She _did not _want to be with him, and if she kept thinking that loudly and often enough she might believe it, which would be a massive bonus.

'That isn't the point. The point is that I don't want this. If you cared about me you wouldn't try to tear me between witching and, and UBERWALD.'

'I _do _care about you and that is why I am trying to _save _you. You _cannot _go your life up to witching like this. You are so much more, you deserve so much more.'

'Fine. Prove it.' Agnes was fairly sure she was losing her mind, due to a combination of rage, regret and despair.

Vlad looked as though he had come to a decision. 'If that's what you want...'

**The End.**

**Sorry, but that was really the only way I could see things happening. **


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